mindfulness

The Many Uses of Mindfulness: Sense of Humor

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image of telephone pole with "life: sense of humor required" painted on it

When I started my mindfulness meditation practice 45 years ago one of the first things I came into contact with was my sense of humor. I had lost touch of that sense through my tumultuous adolescent years and was happy to regain the perspective of humor. It all came home to roost one day when I was watching Shakespeare’s Midsummer Night’s Dream starring Mickey Rooney as Puck. Mickey Rooney died last week so perhaps that is why my return to humor is in the forefront of my awareness. Puck’s famous line of “What fools these mortals be” struck a chord with me and began to crystallize the essence of my world view. I realized that although things seemed so serious on many levels that underneath it all is that sense of humor. I found myself experiencing events and thinking how ridiculous it all is. At the same time life is meant to be played out in earnest. Another Shakespeare quote came to be my mantra..”All the world’s a stage, and all the men and women merely players”. It would be easy to let humor sink to the level of cynicism and we all see that unfolding daily in many kinds of humor. There is humor to suit every emotion and perspective and the comedians of the day give plenty of opportunity to experience it.

So how does my mindfulness practice influence my sense of humor. I realized a long time ago that a lot of humor comes from pain and suffering and many comics will be the first to admit that unhappy experiences drive their comedy. It’s like the Blues musicians always say..”you have to suffer to sing the Blues”. In many many cases that is true with comedy. If you look at the 7 stages of grief you will recognize the starting point for much of our comedy. At the core of pain, suffering, grief, depression, anxiety etc. is fear. During my adolescent years I experienced all of these emotions with fear being the most palpable. It was when I embraced my mindfulness practice that the fear gradually went away. For me fear took the form of fear of dying and when I dealt with that all the other “negative” emotions went away by themselves. It is when the fear left me that I was able to rediscover my sense of humor and sense of the ridiculous without descending into cynicism and all the related fear based emotions. Coming into the present moment allowed that sense of humor to flower and at the same time embrace the love, compassion, kindness and interconnectedness of our mortal foolishness.

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The Many Uses of Mindfulness: Meditation and Not Meditation

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Mindfulness and meditation are two words that are seen together often. Mindfulness can be found in most spiritual traditions and in fact can be found when we look at the basis of our experience. Mindfulness is seen as the basic way we experience life and has been call the “ground of being” by many. About 2500 years ago the Buddha brought mindfulness to the center of his teachings thereby bringing new emphasis to a practice that was perhaps taken for granted by many for so long. A central practice to the Buddha’s routine was meditation and it became associated with mindfulness over the centuries following his death. Mindfulness meditation is in fact a very important and effective way of engaging the present moment. It really does serve as the well of resource for being in the present moment. However, like anything else too much of anything can distort original intent. I’ve seen and worked with many people who have become expert at meditation but have not been able to connect that expertise to everyday life. It’s almost like they have become addicted to meditation and are using it as an escape. It can be a very effective escape as the ability to retreat inward is particularly tempting especially in today’s age of high stress. The really knowledgeable meditators know how important it is to balance the inward intensity of meditation with a fully engaged “outward” life. My experience of too much meditation produces a feeling of spaciness which is actually pleasant in a way but results in a disconnection from everyday life.

The antidote to too much mindfulness meditation is to bring those same qualities of the present moment into our everyday activities. It is a way of “grounding” the energy that is produced during meditation and is the natural complement to mindfulness meditation practice. Without that natural complement, the meditation practice becomes unbalanced and has a spill over effect into our lives. What better way to enjoy the fruits of our meditation practice than to bring that energetic present moment quality to everything we do. It’s really about being fully engaged and deeply experiencing every aspect of our every day lives. There are many meditative traditions that have a goal of disconnecting from this life, breaking the wheel of karma so to speak and breaking the repetition of having to be reborn over and over again. To me this kind of thinking is pure escapism and denial of the life we live in the present moment. If those other things exist in the way it is thought by most then the the best way to deal with it would be to fully accept and experience the present moment in every aspect of our lives. Meditation is a great way to keep the engine well oiled but we must run the machinery in order to circulate the oil throughout the machine.

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The Many Uses of Mindfulness: Putting Reincarnation Into Perspective

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image of hippo saying "I said Hippie!"

It is impossible to know precisely, but millions of people worldwide identify themselves with belief systems in which reincarnation plays a part. This includes over 300 million Buddhists, 800 million Hindus, at least one million adherents of New Age religions, and several million others, as well as many whose beliefs are held privately. Overall, it is reasonable to estimate that about a quarter of the world’s population believes in reincarnation in some form. That’s a lot of people! It’s also a lot of time, energy and attention used to figure out how it all fits into our present day lives. Other than mindfulness’ connection with other spiritual traditions that believe in reincarnation, I can’t find any specific references to how mindfulness relates to it so I will proceed to tell you what mindfulness has taught me in relationship to the concept of reincarnation. Firstly, I have come to learn that the past is always present. It is expressed in every little detail of our lives even though we may not be able to point to the exact connection. Since that is my reality then I would find the logic to connect it to everything in the past, even a hypothetical concept of reincarnation. If the past of this life is always present, then everythingin the past is present too, including past lives. If we are interested in our past the best way to access it is by noticing the present moment, not necessarily to learn the specific details but to gain the understanding and the ability to integrate it all.

Secondly, the concept of interconnectedness, which is very real and palpable to me renders the whole idea of separate lives irrelevant….past or present. Empathy is the beginning stage of being able to share the experiences of others in a very real way and on many levels. As empathy matures and is joined by an ability to stay anchored in the present moment, there is an opening of ones ability to explore other’s experiences past or present without losing the center of oneself. In a sense it is perhaps the real definition of time travel. Since the past is always accessible to the present, once we have mastered the present we have mastered and gained access to the past and can explore it on many levels. That being said…it is far more important to me to simply attend to this present moment and explore everything as it is right now. The whole concept of the past has lost it’s appeal to me and my curiosity is centered in the present moment. So now that we have addressed the past and present, how about the future…..ahhh….a subject for another time…perhaps in the future……..

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The Many Uses of Mindfulness: Over-Empathy: The Dark Side

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illustration of two heads facing each other

It may seem unnecessary to discuss the negative aspects of over empathizing since the quality of empathy is generally held in high regard as a positive human trait. However, over the years I have had many people come to me with mysterious ailments that had no standard medical or psychological explanation and because of that, made the sufferers increasingly anxious about their sanity. Recently there has been more attention paid to this in the research fields and the conclusions are beginning to point to what I experienced as a youth and into early adulthood.

I realized as a youth in the 1960’s that I could sense and share what other people were experiencing both good and bad. The bad is what alarmed me and caused me to seek answers because I couldn’t turn it off. I was fortunate to come across a person who was very familiar with this phenomena and explained to me that by merely focusing attention on someone it was possible for some people to experience the same physical, mental and emotional distress as the other. The light went on! It made perfect sense to me and with some mindfulness training which allowed me to keep my attention to myself and in the present moment, I was able to control the phenomena. I discovered that there was a thin veil between myself and others and that at times it was a matter of survival to keep that veil intact. To me it confirmed the concept of interconnectedness which opened up a whole new way of understanding my place in the universe.

It turns out that many, many people to varying degrees have this same issue. I find that people in the helping professions are particularly susceptible to this problem. They tend to be empathetic to a fault as it becomes confused and mixed up with compassion. These people want so much to help others that they give away too much of themselves and abdicate their own sense of self. In so doing, it opens them up to whatever is going on with the other person. Once this is pointed out, the same light that went on for me goes on for them. At that point it is a simple matter of some mindfulness training to keep their own sense of self intact and puts a stop to the flow of unwanted energy from others. This is accomplished without losing sensitivity to others and bestows a new objective understanding to the relationship of self to “not self”.

Although the helping profession seems to be most susceptible to this, it is a common problem for everyone and underlines yet another helpful use of mindfulness. On a side note, actors have discovered the usefulness of empathizing with method acting and with practice, can to varying degrees actually become the role they are in. Hopefully with good mindfulness training they can let go of their roles when they are done.

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The Many Uses of Mindfulness: Pain and Suffering

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image of yoda

Mindfulness’ ability to reduce pain levels has been documented through published research for over thirty years. I’ve lost track of how many actual studies there are because research is coming out fast and furious. As of February 2014 there are over 40 mindfulness studies being published each week. Although pain is not the only application observed, it is interesting to note the abundance of attention being given to mindfulness.

Pain comes in various forms. Physical pain receives the most attention but not far behind is emotional, mental and spiritual pain. The reality is that physical, mental, emotional and spiritual pain are interconnected and if you address one, you are addressing all four. In the “old days” we were taught to block out the pain by somehow disconnecting to what was being experienced in the moment. We were given drugs and various strategies to accomplish this erroneous approach. It wasn’t until mindfulness started teaching the opposite that we began to notice a shift in the paradigm of how we address pain. The epiphany that the willingness and ability to be present with pain could reduce pain levels was revolutionary. Imagine….an approach that was the exact opposite to what we had been taught for years!

We all know that stress plays a role in creating and sustaining pain. The physical contraction of the body for long periods of time creates and wreaks havoc on pain issues. The corresponding contraction of emotional, mental and spiritual experience through stress and fear mirrors what is happening on the physical level. Suffering increases and sustains the pain levels. What I mean by suffering is the mental/emotional catastrophizing of the pain situation. The compulsive looking back and forward as to the worst possible scenario and outcome of the situation.

The willingness and ability to fully experience pain on every level is part of the practice of mindfulness. It releases the contraction caused by stress and fear and allows the system to return to normal. The nervous system is able to come out of fight or flight and then the inner healing faculties that we all have are able to assert themselves in a positive way thus laying the foundation for reduced pain levels. I’m not suggesting that every pain situation can be fully experienced easily. It takes practice and everyone needs to find their own way in, but the journey of many miles begins with the first step and that first step is transformational.

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The Many Uses of Mindfulness: Resilience

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From time to time a word or phrase may become the focal point of attention and discussion in our culture. It seems to go in cycles as new, fresh descriptors are brought into popular use. One of the new words being discussed in terms of human performance and health and wellness is “resilience”. Resilience is defined by Wikipedia as: “Psychological resilience is an individual’s tendency to cope with stress and adversity.[1] This coping may result in the individual “bouncing back” to a previous state of normal functioning, or simply not showing negative effects.[2] A third, l conception of resilience is sometimes referred to as ‘post traumatic growth’ or ‘steeling effects’ wherein the experience of adversity leads to better functioning (much like an inoculation gives one the capacity to cope well with future exposure to disease). Resilience is most commonly understood as a process, and not a trait of an individual.[3]

Recently there has also been evidence that resilience can indicate a capacity to resist a sharp decline in other harm even though a person temporarily appears to get worse.[4][5] A child, for example, may do poorly during critical life transitions (like entering junior high) but experience problems that are less severe than would be expected given the many risks the child faces”.

What is the basic relationship of mindfulness to resilience? There are numerous published studies that go in great length to describe this connection. Since I tend to look for first principles and common denominators I will briefly describe what I believe to be the keys to the connection of mindfulness and resilience.

When we get stuck in the stress cycle we literally freeze up on all levels because of the implicit fear that is experienced as a result of reacting to the survival impulse. The fear takes us out of the present moment as a coping mechanism. This often results in lengthy periods of chronic stress and we don’t return until a conscious effort to return is made. That conscious effort to return to the present moment is called mindfulness. Fear is necessary to help us survive in the short run, but sustained fear over a long period simply perpetuates the frozen experience that comes with flight or flight. Our bodies, minds and emotions lock up, we lose flexibility and resilience and our normal state of flow is interrupted. The key is to know that our normal state is in fact one of flexibility and resilience and that we don’t need to learn it, we simply need to remove the impediments that have blocked the natural way of being. All of life is in a state of flux/change at all times and to resist that because of fear creates all the problems that we attribute to chronic stress. Remove the chronic stress/fear, allow yourself to experience the natural changing nature of life and we return back to our normal state of resilience and flow.

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The Many Uses of Mindfulness: Compassion

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Mindfulness and compassion have been historically linked for a long time. Wikipedia defines compassion as: “Compassion is the feeling of empathy for others. Compassion is the emotion that we feel in response to the suffering of others that motivates a desire to help.[1][2]Compassion is often regarded as having an emotional aspect to it, though when based on cerebral notions such as fairness, justice and interdependence, it may be considered rational in nature and its application understood as an activity based on sound judgment. There is also an aspect of compassion which regards a quantitative dimension, such that individual’s compassion is often given a property of “depth,” “vigour,” or “passion.” The etymology of “compassion” is Latin, meaning “co-suffering.” More involved than simple empathy, compassion commonly gives rise to an active desire to alleviate another’s suffering.

For fun, let’s take a look at the “chicken or egg” relationship between mindfulness and compassion. There are those who would say that mindfulness gives rise to compassion and those who would say the reverse. To make this discussion even more fun I will take the side of the egg as being first. There are many reasons for this but in an effort to keep this blog simple I will say that the shape of an egg is more primal and from a cosmological/mathematical/quantum standpoint would be easier to spring from the “nothingness of black space” than a chicken.

From here I will jump to my conclusion in order to stay true to simplicity. My experience has been that compassion can gradually lead to mindfulness, but that mindfulness always leads to compassion. The key ingredient is actually mentioned in the Wikipedia definition, “interdependence”. My experience with mindfulness has been that the deeper I go into the present moment, the more obvious it is that everything is interconnected and interdependent to the point of the realization of the feeling of oneness with all. It’s easy to see how the flow of everything is moving together. As that realization/feeling matures and unfolds it becomes natural to have compassion with/for everyone, everything and of course, oneself. Now that we have had our fun, we can freely admit that the answer to this question of what came first really doesn’t matter…..as the chicken and the egg discovered long ago!

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Many Uses of Mindfulness: Addictions

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For the Love of Money. It talks about a Wall Street broker who through a series of epiphanies came to the conclusion that he was addicted to money. It got me thinking about whether there is a common denominator for all addictions.

Over my life I have felt the pull of various things that could fall into the category of addictions if left to their devices and in the many classes I have taught in mindfulness I have had plenty of people who have talked of their various addictions and the benefits that mindfulness practice has had in relation to their addictions. It seems to me that if you have an addictive personality then that addictive personality will choose from the many opportunities to express itself. Probably the most common addictions that we hear of through the media are the many kinds of drugs whether they be stimulative or depressive. Many times the two go hand in hand as a way of balancing the extremes. Drugs come in many forms and don’t have to be limited to prescribed and non prescribed substances. We all know of food addictions, behavioral addictions such as sex, extreme sports/risk taking etc. The list goes on and on.

Where does the addiction begin? It has become common knowledge that there is an epidemic of people getting stuck in fight or flight for extended periods of time if not years. The autonomic nervous system gets stuck in the sympathetic mode or high gear. One of the many ramifications of this phenomena is a steady flow of adrenaline and the other stress hormones. Another common acknowledgment is that people begin to crave the adrenaline high after awhile. I think we need to look seriously at this being a root cause of addictions. From here the domino effect kicks in and that adrenaline craving begins to express itself in many ways. I recently read that this can be passed on genetically. The well known disconnection that takes place as a result of chronic fight or flight perpetuates this condition. The well known effect of mindfulness practice being able to reverse this disconnect is also acknowledged. Perhaps we have found an important key for reversing addictions. There is much to discuss here and many dots to connect.

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The Many Uses of Mindfulness: Food/Eating

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Food/Eating has always been central to the human experience because of it’s obvious relationship to survival. Today, food/eating plays a much larger role and in fact has become not just a science but an art as well. In becoming such a focal point in our culture it gives us an opportunity to not only enjoy it in all it’s diversity but to suffer with it as well. Like all things in life, whether we enjoy or suffer through our experiences is highly influenced by our relationship to them.

In the practice of mindfulness the main theme is our relationship to the present moment via our connection to our bodies, minds, breath and emotions. Because stress plays such a large role in our lives, and since stress is dictated by our relationship to our experiences, it makes perfect sense that the practice of mindfulness which brings balance into our lives could play a pivotal role in how we experience food and eating.

The big issue with stress is coping by disconnecting from ourselves and the present moment and getting stuck in the stress cycle for extended periods of time(think years). That fight or flight experience has one major function….survival. If we are stuck in survival mode then our relationship to everything will be through the lens of survival/fear including our relationship to food/eating. We will magnify it’s importance as a strategy for survival and grasp onto it for all we are worth. We’ll grasp onto it and won’t be able to get enough of it to ease our fears of survival because the root cause of being stuck in fight or flight hasn’t been addressed. It will also result in other forms of food/eating dysfunction.

Mindfulness directly address this root cause by allowing us to reconnect, come out of fight or flight and put the stress cycle and fear of survival behind us. At this point we are free to see food as it really is….something that nourishes us and sustains life. As we reconnect to our bodies and our dulled senses become enlivened, we are also in for the treat of being able to experience food/eating in a deeper more enjoyable way. If we pay attention mindfully to our food/eating our bodies will tell us what we need to know about about quantity, quality and how to enjoy.

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The Many Uses of Mindfulness: In The Schools for Academic Excellence

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In the late 1990’s I developed and delivered a way to use mindfulness as an integral part of the educational/academic system. The name of the program was: Mindfulness Training for Elementary School Students: The Attention Academy. It was published by The Journal of Applied School Psychology, Vol. 21(1) 2005. Since my study was published there has been a world wide movement to bring mindfulness into the schools and this movement is expanding exponentially.

It had long been a theory of mine that the practice of mindfulness could be helpful in teaching people how to think and learn in new enhanced ways. This idea came to me because of my personal experience of the limits of my own educational training all the way through college and beyond. I felt like a fish out of water and had a hard time just thinking “inside the box”.

My personal experience with learning and mindfulness brought me to the conclusion that thinking and learning had far more to do with just cognitive skills. I discovered that cognition is interconnected with emotion and tactile experience. The term “emotional intelligence” has now become an accepted part of the learning continuum and will continue to play an even larger role as it discovers the depth of it’s possibilities. As it relates to education, mindfulness has the convenient twofold application of increasing attention skills and reducing stress thereby creating new opportunities for excellence. As the over 1800 studies in mindfulness over a vast array of applications conclude, increased attentions skills, increased awareness and connection with emotions and the body result in greater aptitude for learning and communication. We are no longer tied to thinking “inside the box” and are discovering new exciting ways to learn resulting in an unprecedented explosion of creativity.

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