The Many Uses of Mindfulness: Fun

/ / mindfulness
yellow triangular sign - fun zone

I find that most people come to meditation, whether it be mindfulness or some other form, to address concerns they have in life. That was certainly the case with me as I was struggling to overcome fears, depression and a whole litany of dysfunction while at the same time wanting to figure out how the universe worked. Regardless of the issues being addressed, whether physical, mental, emotional or spiritual a lot of attention and energy goes towards resolving the issues. Life becomes all consuming in the pursuit of figuring these things out and making peace with them. It seems for many of us that while we are pursuing these things there is a heaviness about our lives and the lightness of spirit and playfulness of heart takes a back seat. This can last a long time, even a lifetime, as this search wears on. Things become very serious….

One of the things I like about mindfulness versus other forms of inner practice is that in bringing us to the present moment it takes us away from the intense focus of our own inner world to something larger. It takes us outside our own bubble and allows us to merge our life with the life outside the bubble. In many cases it may seem like a tearing away of the obsession with the “little self” and an opening up of a much larger self which includes everything/body. It’s when that happens that we wake up to a much larger reality, one that is interesting, engaging and fun. I noticed with my own experience that when my practice started bringing me into the present moment and away from my inner struggles that I began to have a new perspective on life. I actually started to have fun again, something that had been missing for a long time. As I embraced the return of fun in my life it continued to deepen and expand. It was then that I realized that having fun was a big part of of my mindfulness practice and that I wanted to share that with others. It seemed to me that the more people in the sandbox, the more fun would be had. I also found that as the sense of fun returned, the other issues I was dealing with were resolving. So there is some connection between allowing fun back into life and resolving the many issues we all bring to our inner practice. For me, the engagement with the present moment was the key that opened the lock. There is an alchemical reaction that takes place in the present moment that transforms the nature of our issues and allows us to have fun again. It ends up influencing the way we see things and not taking ourselves so seriously. We can still continue to address our original reasons for entering into this process but now with a lightness of being and playfulness in our hearts.

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The Many Uses of Mindfulness: Fear

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man nervously biting his fingernails

When I first started meditating 45 years ago the driving motivation was fear. I had reached a point in my life when fear was present all the time. The fear influenced everything I experienced and I was ultimately driven to discover and resolve the cause. As I explored the present moment I was able to discover how the fear was affecting me physically, mentally and emotionally. Once I was able to get in touch with that visceral experience it forged the connection to go deeper and trace the roots. I was able to be present with and explore the things I was fearful of and ultimately traced it all back to the fear of dying which was something I had been aware of since very early childhood. I discovered through that introspection that all my other fears could be traced back to fear of dying. I also noticed that there was a connection to a lot of other physical, emotional and mental issues that fed on the fear. I had stomach issues that I could see were directly related and many other issues such as fear of public speaking that obviously stemmed from the constriction of fear.

As I went deeper into my fear I came across the realization that the fear of dying was an effective way of addressing survival. I looked deeply into the fight or flight response that is hard wired in our autonomic nervous system and concluded that because of my heightened fear I would have an advantage in a survival situation. The problem was that I was always in that heightened fear and deduced that it would be much better if I could call upon it only when I needed it. The more I was able to fully experience the fear in the present moment the more it started to go away. As I faced the fear of dying my nervous system began to change. The fear lessened and all the other “symptoms” of fear lessened too. Over the years I began to have dreams of dying and actually was able to practice dying in my dreams. That combined with my mindfulness practice put an end to my fear of dying and other connected issues and rewired my nervous system so that it wasn’t constantly in fight or flight. I have come to realize the importance of going deeply into the fear of dying. I have concluded that it is the root of all fear and is connected to many, many other issues. Mindfulness practice is a great way to explore this and is a great touchstone as we all embrace our own paths of exploring and resolving fear.

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The Many Uses of Mindfulness: Silence and Stillness

/ / mindfulness
rowboat on a moonlit night

As I begin to write this blog it occurs to me that writing about the connection between mindfulness, stillness and silence is counter intuitive to the subject. That realization stops me dead in my tracks and makes me wonder if I can convey this idea without violating it. In any event I suspect this will be one of my shorter blogs….or it should be.

When I first started practicing mindfulness I discovered physical and mental restlessness, and a mind that was constantly hearing sounds and thinking thoughts. My life was much the same way in that I lived in a constant whirl of activity. As I developed my mindfulness meditation practice I discovered that gradually I was experiencing less restlessness and a sense of quiet. There is an argument to be made that this new found stillness and silence would spill over into my life and in fact that is what I have noticed. The grand epiphany is that my outer life does not need to be still and silent in order for me to sustain the inner stillness and silence. They are the engines of focus and attention. I have come to experience that two basic qualities of the present moment are stillness and silence. They seem to be the at the core of our essential being. I would liken them to the blank canvas of a painter who has the opportunity to create anything on that canvas.

So silence and stillness are always there, the balm of existence that allows for the arising of all experience. I found this in the present moment and it continues to deepen day by day.

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The Many Uses of Mindfulness: Sense of Humor

/ / mindfulness
image of telephone pole with "life: sense of humor required" painted on it

When I started my mindfulness meditation practice 45 years ago one of the first things I came into contact with was my sense of humor. I had lost touch of that sense through my tumultuous adolescent years and was happy to regain the perspective of humor. It all came home to roost one day when I was watching Shakespeare’s Midsummer Night’s Dream starring Mickey Rooney as Puck. Mickey Rooney died last week so perhaps that is why my return to humor is in the forefront of my awareness. Puck’s famous line of “What fools these mortals be” struck a chord with me and began to crystallize the essence of my world view. I realized that although things seemed so serious on many levels that underneath it all is that sense of humor. I found myself experiencing events and thinking how ridiculous it all is. At the same time life is meant to be played out in earnest. Another Shakespeare quote came to be my mantra..”All the world’s a stage, and all the men and women merely players”. It would be easy to let humor sink to the level of cynicism and we all see that unfolding daily in many kinds of humor. There is humor to suit every emotion and perspective and the comedians of the day give plenty of opportunity to experience it.

So how does my mindfulness practice influence my sense of humor. I realized a long time ago that a lot of humor comes from pain and suffering and many comics will be the first to admit that unhappy experiences drive their comedy. It’s like the Blues musicians always say..”you have to suffer to sing the Blues”. In many many cases that is true with comedy. If you look at the 7 stages of grief you will recognize the starting point for much of our comedy. At the core of pain, suffering, grief, depression, anxiety etc. is fear. During my adolescent years I experienced all of these emotions with fear being the most palpable. It was when I embraced my mindfulness practice that the fear gradually went away. For me fear took the form of fear of dying and when I dealt with that all the other “negative” emotions went away by themselves. It is when the fear left me that I was able to rediscover my sense of humor and sense of the ridiculous without descending into cynicism and all the related fear based emotions. Coming into the present moment allowed that sense of humor to flower and at the same time embrace the love, compassion, kindness and interconnectedness of our mortal foolishness.

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The Many Uses of Mindfulness: Meditation and Not Meditation

/ / mindfulness

Mindfulness and meditation are two words that are seen together often. Mindfulness can be found in most spiritual traditions and in fact can be found when we look at the basis of our experience. Mindfulness is seen as the basic way we experience life and has been call the “ground of being” by many. About 2500 years ago the Buddha brought mindfulness to the center of his teachings thereby bringing new emphasis to a practice that was perhaps taken for granted by many for so long. A central practice to the Buddha’s routine was meditation and it became associated with mindfulness over the centuries following his death. Mindfulness meditation is in fact a very important and effective way of engaging the present moment. It really does serve as the well of resource for being in the present moment. However, like anything else too much of anything can distort original intent. I’ve seen and worked with many people who have become expert at meditation but have not been able to connect that expertise to everyday life. It’s almost like they have become addicted to meditation and are using it as an escape. It can be a very effective escape as the ability to retreat inward is particularly tempting especially in today’s age of high stress. The really knowledgeable meditators know how important it is to balance the inward intensity of meditation with a fully engaged “outward” life. My experience of too much meditation produces a feeling of spaciness which is actually pleasant in a way but results in a disconnection from everyday life.

The antidote to too much mindfulness meditation is to bring those same qualities of the present moment into our everyday activities. It is a way of “grounding” the energy that is produced during meditation and is the natural complement to mindfulness meditation practice. Without that natural complement, the meditation practice becomes unbalanced and has a spill over effect into our lives. What better way to enjoy the fruits of our meditation practice than to bring that energetic present moment quality to everything we do. It’s really about being fully engaged and deeply experiencing every aspect of our every day lives. There are many meditative traditions that have a goal of disconnecting from this life, breaking the wheel of karma so to speak and breaking the repetition of having to be reborn over and over again. To me this kind of thinking is pure escapism and denial of the life we live in the present moment. If those other things exist in the way it is thought by most then the the best way to deal with it would be to fully accept and experience the present moment in every aspect of our lives. Meditation is a great way to keep the engine well oiled but we must run the machinery in order to circulate the oil throughout the machine.

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The Many Uses of Mindfulness: Putting Reincarnation Into Perspective

/ / mindfulness
image of hippo saying "I said Hippie!"

It is impossible to know precisely, but millions of people worldwide identify themselves with belief systems in which reincarnation plays a part. This includes over 300 million Buddhists, 800 million Hindus, at least one million adherents of New Age religions, and several million others, as well as many whose beliefs are held privately. Overall, it is reasonable to estimate that about a quarter of the world’s population believes in reincarnation in some form. That’s a lot of people! It’s also a lot of time, energy and attention used to figure out how it all fits into our present day lives. Other than mindfulness’ connection with other spiritual traditions that believe in reincarnation, I can’t find any specific references to how mindfulness relates to it so I will proceed to tell you what mindfulness has taught me in relationship to the concept of reincarnation. Firstly, I have come to learn that the past is always present. It is expressed in every little detail of our lives even though we may not be able to point to the exact connection. Since that is my reality then I would find the logic to connect it to everything in the past, even a hypothetical concept of reincarnation. If the past of this life is always present, then everythingin the past is present too, including past lives. If we are interested in our past the best way to access it is by noticing the present moment, not necessarily to learn the specific details but to gain the understanding and the ability to integrate it all.

Secondly, the concept of interconnectedness, which is very real and palpable to me renders the whole idea of separate lives irrelevant….past or present. Empathy is the beginning stage of being able to share the experiences of others in a very real way and on many levels. As empathy matures and is joined by an ability to stay anchored in the present moment, there is an opening of ones ability to explore other’s experiences past or present without losing the center of oneself. In a sense it is perhaps the real definition of time travel. Since the past is always accessible to the present, once we have mastered the present we have mastered and gained access to the past and can explore it on many levels. That being said…it is far more important to me to simply attend to this present moment and explore everything as it is right now. The whole concept of the past has lost it’s appeal to me and my curiosity is centered in the present moment. So now that we have addressed the past and present, how about the future…..ahhh….a subject for another time…perhaps in the future……..

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The Many Uses of Mindfulness: Over-Empathy: The Dark Side

/ / mindfulness
illustration of two heads facing each other

It may seem unnecessary to discuss the negative aspects of over empathizing since the quality of empathy is generally held in high regard as a positive human trait. However, over the years I have had many people come to me with mysterious ailments that had no standard medical or psychological explanation and because of that, made the sufferers increasingly anxious about their sanity. Recently there has been more attention paid to this in the research fields and the conclusions are beginning to point to what I experienced as a youth and into early adulthood.

I realized as a youth in the 1960’s that I could sense and share what other people were experiencing both good and bad. The bad is what alarmed me and caused me to seek answers because I couldn’t turn it off. I was fortunate to come across a person who was very familiar with this phenomena and explained to me that by merely focusing attention on someone it was possible for some people to experience the same physical, mental and emotional distress as the other. The light went on! It made perfect sense to me and with some mindfulness training which allowed me to keep my attention to myself and in the present moment, I was able to control the phenomena. I discovered that there was a thin veil between myself and others and that at times it was a matter of survival to keep that veil intact. To me it confirmed the concept of interconnectedness which opened up a whole new way of understanding my place in the universe.

It turns out that many, many people to varying degrees have this same issue. I find that people in the helping professions are particularly susceptible to this problem. They tend to be empathetic to a fault as it becomes confused and mixed up with compassion. These people want so much to help others that they give away too much of themselves and abdicate their own sense of self. In so doing, it opens them up to whatever is going on with the other person. Once this is pointed out, the same light that went on for me goes on for them. At that point it is a simple matter of some mindfulness training to keep their own sense of self intact and puts a stop to the flow of unwanted energy from others. This is accomplished without losing sensitivity to others and bestows a new objective understanding to the relationship of self to “not self”.

Although the helping profession seems to be most susceptible to this, it is a common problem for everyone and underlines yet another helpful use of mindfulness. On a side note, actors have discovered the usefulness of empathizing with method acting and with practice, can to varying degrees actually become the role they are in. Hopefully with good mindfulness training they can let go of their roles when they are done.

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The Many Uses of Mindfulness: Pain and Suffering

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image of yoda

Mindfulness’ ability to reduce pain levels has been documented through published research for over thirty years. I’ve lost track of how many actual studies there are because research is coming out fast and furious. As of February 2014 there are over 40 mindfulness studies being published each week. Although pain is not the only application observed, it is interesting to note the abundance of attention being given to mindfulness.

Pain comes in various forms. Physical pain receives the most attention but not far behind is emotional, mental and spiritual pain. The reality is that physical, mental, emotional and spiritual pain are interconnected and if you address one, you are addressing all four. In the “old days” we were taught to block out the pain by somehow disconnecting to what was being experienced in the moment. We were given drugs and various strategies to accomplish this erroneous approach. It wasn’t until mindfulness started teaching the opposite that we began to notice a shift in the paradigm of how we address pain. The epiphany that the willingness and ability to be present with pain could reduce pain levels was revolutionary. Imagine….an approach that was the exact opposite to what we had been taught for years!

We all know that stress plays a role in creating and sustaining pain. The physical contraction of the body for long periods of time creates and wreaks havoc on pain issues. The corresponding contraction of emotional, mental and spiritual experience through stress and fear mirrors what is happening on the physical level. Suffering increases and sustains the pain levels. What I mean by suffering is the mental/emotional catastrophizing of the pain situation. The compulsive looking back and forward as to the worst possible scenario and outcome of the situation.

The willingness and ability to fully experience pain on every level is part of the practice of mindfulness. It releases the contraction caused by stress and fear and allows the system to return to normal. The nervous system is able to come out of fight or flight and then the inner healing faculties that we all have are able to assert themselves in a positive way thus laying the foundation for reduced pain levels. I’m not suggesting that every pain situation can be fully experienced easily. It takes practice and everyone needs to find their own way in, but the journey of many miles begins with the first step and that first step is transformational.

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The Many Uses of Mindfulness: Resilience

/ / mindfulness

From time to time a word or phrase may become the focal point of attention and discussion in our culture. It seems to go in cycles as new, fresh descriptors are brought into popular use. One of the new words being discussed in terms of human performance and health and wellness is “resilience”. Resilience is defined by Wikipedia as: “Psychological resilience is an individual’s tendency to cope with stress and adversity.[1] This coping may result in the individual “bouncing back” to a previous state of normal functioning, or simply not showing negative effects.[2] A third, l conception of resilience is sometimes referred to as ‘post traumatic growth’ or ‘steeling effects’ wherein the experience of adversity leads to better functioning (much like an inoculation gives one the capacity to cope well with future exposure to disease). Resilience is most commonly understood as a process, and not a trait of an individual.[3]

Recently there has also been evidence that resilience can indicate a capacity to resist a sharp decline in other harm even though a person temporarily appears to get worse.[4][5] A child, for example, may do poorly during critical life transitions (like entering junior high) but experience problems that are less severe than would be expected given the many risks the child faces”.

What is the basic relationship of mindfulness to resilience? There are numerous published studies that go in great length to describe this connection. Since I tend to look for first principles and common denominators I will briefly describe what I believe to be the keys to the connection of mindfulness and resilience.

When we get stuck in the stress cycle we literally freeze up on all levels because of the implicit fear that is experienced as a result of reacting to the survival impulse. The fear takes us out of the present moment as a coping mechanism. This often results in lengthy periods of chronic stress and we don’t return until a conscious effort to return is made. That conscious effort to return to the present moment is called mindfulness. Fear is necessary to help us survive in the short run, but sustained fear over a long period simply perpetuates the frozen experience that comes with flight or flight. Our bodies, minds and emotions lock up, we lose flexibility and resilience and our normal state of flow is interrupted. The key is to know that our normal state is in fact one of flexibility and resilience and that we don’t need to learn it, we simply need to remove the impediments that have blocked the natural way of being. All of life is in a state of flux/change at all times and to resist that because of fear creates all the problems that we attribute to chronic stress. Remove the chronic stress/fear, allow yourself to experience the natural changing nature of life and we return back to our normal state of resilience and flow.

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The Many Uses of Mindfulness: Compassion

/ / compassion, mindfulness

Mindfulness and compassion have been historically linked for a long time. Wikipedia defines compassion as: “Compassion is the feeling of empathy for others. Compassion is the emotion that we feel in response to the suffering of others that motivates a desire to help.[1][2]Compassion is often regarded as having an emotional aspect to it, though when based on cerebral notions such as fairness, justice and interdependence, it may be considered rational in nature and its application understood as an activity based on sound judgment. There is also an aspect of compassion which regards a quantitative dimension, such that individual’s compassion is often given a property of “depth,” “vigour,” or “passion.” The etymology of “compassion” is Latin, meaning “co-suffering.” More involved than simple empathy, compassion commonly gives rise to an active desire to alleviate another’s suffering.

For fun, let’s take a look at the “chicken or egg” relationship between mindfulness and compassion. There are those who would say that mindfulness gives rise to compassion and those who would say the reverse. To make this discussion even more fun I will take the side of the egg as being first. There are many reasons for this but in an effort to keep this blog simple I will say that the shape of an egg is more primal and from a cosmological/mathematical/quantum standpoint would be easier to spring from the “nothingness of black space” than a chicken.

From here I will jump to my conclusion in order to stay true to simplicity. My experience has been that compassion can gradually lead to mindfulness, but that mindfulness always leads to compassion. The key ingredient is actually mentioned in the Wikipedia definition, “interdependence”. My experience with mindfulness has been that the deeper I go into the present moment, the more obvious it is that everything is interconnected and interdependent to the point of the realization of the feeling of oneness with all. It’s easy to see how the flow of everything is moving together. As that realization/feeling matures and unfolds it becomes natural to have compassion with/for everyone, everything and of course, oneself. Now that we have had our fun, we can freely admit that the answer to this question of what came first really doesn’t matter…..as the chicken and the egg discovered long ago!

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